Oxhill News

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South Warwickshire, England.

The Oxhill News

November 2005


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Old Muckrakerís Autumn Illuminations

Well fellow muck lovers, the season of mists & mellow fruitfulness is hard upon us!  The leaves flutter from the trees & hedgerows, leaving only their fulsome harvest of old lager cans and empty burger boxes.  Is there any better place to be than in the country in wintertime?  Probably.

But seriously though, we must all adjust to the changing seasons and take care to husband natureís bounty for the long winter haul.  So with these thoughts in mind, here are a few tips to help you through the gloom!

Letís talk about the environment Ė it's all around us these days, isnít it?  With fossil fuels slated to run out in no more than a thousand years or so, we must all do our bit to save energy.  Little things can make a big difference you know Ė donít leave all those lights on for hours at a time when youíre alone in the house.  Remember, a good-sized four-bar electric fire can give enough light to read by, as along as youíre close enough.

And donít forget to save water wherever you can Ė the reservoirs are bound to be drying up after all that rain.  Can you believe that the average adult uses nearly 200 gallons of water a day just flushing the lavatory?  No, neither can I.  They used to advise putting a brick in the tank, but a better approach is to turn the water off completely, obtain relief directly into the cistern, and flush it straight down.  So much more efficient, and it helps stop the pipes freezing!

But itís not only us that suffer as the mercury drops  - what about our little feathered friends outdoors?  A bag of peanuts and a lump of old fat always go down well (preferably with a big mug of Bovril) and then you can get out there and stock up the bird table with all their favourites - bacon rind, old crusts and biscuits, and some small nuts and bolts for the iron.  And don't forget tits like coconuts.

Talking of the outdoors, I see that Grenvilleís raised the thorny subject of firework night, nearly upon us as you read this.  Heís right you know, itís a time of misery for some of our four-legged friends.  Always remember as you light the fire that hedgehogs may have burrowed inside looking for somewhere warm to hibernate.  As the last embers die away, they make the perfect hot snack with a nice jacket potato and a bit of mustard.  Watch the prickles though!  And a final safety warning  - donít let unqualified people put on firework displays.  You need a flair for that sort of thing.

Well I must be getting along now, but donít forget Old Muckrakerís winter tip Ė chop your own logs and theyíll warm you twice!

Old Muckraker

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Last modified: November 21, 2005